Vikings Defeat an Entire Region, 56-13
Cleveland State56
FCS Northwest13
- Game
- 2025 Week 3
- Date
- 2025-09-13
- Site
- Home
- Result
- Win
- Record
- 3-0
Fifty-six points! Three and oh!
I know, I know: it was an FCS opponent, the program on the schedule card is listed simply as “FCS Northwest,” and Kenny is going to make a whole thing out of that. Let him. A win is a win is a win, and this one came with a fifty-six on the scoreboard and a hot September afternoon at home that smelled like brats and sunscreen.
I went to the West Side Market that morning and Teddy at the kielbasa stall, my sausage oracle, said business was “brisk.” He wrapped my links, looked me dead in the eye and said, “Big number today, Mick.” I said, “How big?” He said, “Fifty-something.” Teddy is never wrong when he’s optimistic. I tipped him a dollar and he looked at me like I’d insulted his mother.
Our guys took care of business, the young quarterback got his work in, nobody got hurt, and Coach Dolan was home in time for dinner.
Three pierogi. One for Teddy, wrapped in butcher paper.
The Vikings defeated a region.
I want to be clear that I have nothing against “FCS Northwest,” who I assume are lovely people from a large and scenic part of the country. But beating a geographic area by forty-three points tells me exactly as much about this team as beating a weather pattern would.
At trivia, Nadia read our team’s score and said, “And in last place, for the third straight week, the guys who’d lose to FCS Northwest.” I’d like to formally object. We have never played FCS Northwest at trivia. We’d lose, though. They’re a whole region.
Real talk: three and oh is fine. Three and oh with a freshman quarterback who hasn’t been rattled yet is better than fine. But Louisville is next, on the road, and Louisville is a city, not a direction.
My father asked on the phone Sunday who we’d played. I said “FCS Northwest.” He laughed for a full minute. Best call in months.
Back and forth
Fifty-six points, Kenny!
Against a compass.
Your dad laughed for a minute! I’m counting that as a win too.
That one I’ll put in the case.
Fifty-six points against a region, a sausage prophecy fulfilled, and the best laugh Ray Hogmanes has had all year.
Split Decision is fiction. Mickey Bridges, Ken Hogmanes and The Lakefront Ledger are invented; the games and scores are not.