Eight and Oh in Dallas, and Big Stan Clears a Wall
Cleveland State59
SMU30
- Game
- 2030 Week 8
- Site
- Away
- Result
- Win
- Record
- 8-0
Vikings 59, SMU 30, in Dallas. EIGHT AND OH.
Twenty-nine points of daylight on the road the week before Ohio. That’s what I call taking care of business, folks. Six years ago in Dallas we won by six, and I called it “character with a little margin for error.” This year, there’s no margin for error, because there’s no error.
Now, Big Stan. On Monday I walked into the deli and the back wall was bare. Bare! For thirty years that wall has had the same photographs: Stan’s father with the slicer, the 1964 Browns, a signed picture of a weatherman who once ate there. All gone. Stan was standing on a ladder with a level. I said, “Stan, where’s the weatherman?” He said, “Storage.” I said, “Why?” He said, “Making room.” I said, “For what?” He said, “Mick. You know for what.” Then he went back to leveling nothing.
The counter council voted, as they do. The question was: “Do we say the word?” The word is “perfect.” The vote was six to nothing against saying it, with one abstention. Chester abstained. Chester always abstains. Some things are perfect already.
Four pierogi. Ohio next. At home. I’m not saying anything.
A twenty-nine-point win in Dallas. Eight and oh. The Vikings are undefeated, and so is the team coming to Cleveland next.
I’ll make my case plainly, because next week I won’t be able to think clearly. The Vikings are better than they were last year. The quarterback is more efficient (I’m not citing numbers until the end of the season; that’s the rule), the running back is younger and faster, the defense is better coached. Ohio is the defending national champion with the same head coach who’s beaten the Vikings in Cleveland three straight times. History says Ohio. The roster says the Vikings. I’ve never had a week where the Doom Model and my gut disagreed this badly.
Teresa’s pick this week, the one I can’t criticize, was a record called “Breathing Exercises for Beginners.” It’s a woman’s voice telling you to inhale. I listened to the whole thing. Twice. I’ve never been so obedient. I inhaled every time she said so. Teresa watched from the doorway and said, “Good, Kenny.” Then she brought soup. Preventive soup. She knows what’s coming.
Back and forth
Stan cleared the whole wall!
Stan is either very confident or remodeling. With Stan, those are the same thing.
The council voted not to say the word.
Wisest vote that room’s ever taken. I’m not saying it either.
Eight and oh in Dallas, a deli wall cleared for something nobody will name, and Ken obeying a breathing record before the biggest home game in years.
Split Decision is fiction. Mickey Bridges, Ken Hogmanes and The Lakefront Ledger are invented; the games and scores are not.