Houston Held to Three, and The Ladd Hits the Board
Cleveland State52
Houston3
- Game
- 2036 Week 9
- Site
- Home
- Result
- Win
- Record
- 9-0
VIKINGS 52, HOUSTON 3. NINE AND OH.
Forty-nine points of daylight, our fifth straight win over the Cougars, and three points allowed. Three! In the last six games, folks, our defense has allowed fifty-eight points. Total. That’s fewer than some teams give up in an afternoon. Mean, but fair.
And The Ladd is up. Big Stan’s tenth board. Here it is: hot capicola, pepper jack, spicy giardiniera, a fried pierogi stuffed with jalapeño, and a smear of horseradish mustard, on a hard roll Stan says “can take a hit.” It’s spicy, per Chester’s amendment. It’s so spicy that Walt had to go stand outside. Gerald, who made the motion, ate the whole thing in silence, with tears running down his face, and when he finished, he said, “It’s perfect,” and Stan shook his hand.
Vonn Ladd came in on Monday with two teammates. He looked at the board with his name on it. He looked at Gerald. Stan said, “Vonn, this is the man who made the motion.” Vonn shook Gerald’s hand for a long time. Gerald sat down without being told. Then he stood back up, because he realized it wasn’t the slicer.
My cardiologist says I can’t eat The Ladd. Not one bite. I’m allowed to look at it.
Five pierogi.
A forty-nine-point home win over Houston. Nine and oh.
The defense has allowed three, six, twenty-four, seven, nine and nine in its last six games. I’ve been covering this program for thirteen years, and I’ve written about its offense for most of them, because its offense demanded it. This defense, this year, is the best I’ve seen in Cleveland. It doesn’t need a nickname. Mickey’s given it one anyway.
Ohio is coming. Two games from now, on the last weekend of the regular season, at home. Ohio is undefeated and in first place in the Big 12. The Vikings are undefeated too. The RedHawks aren’t on the schedule this year, which Nadia has called “the third cosmic insult in four years.” She’s put a sticker on the bobblehead that says “SEE YOU IN THE PLAYOFF.”
I’d like to report, from the beach’s lingering influence, that I’m calm about Ohio. I’m not calm about Ohio. I’m wearing the sun hat in the apartment to remind myself to be calm about Ohio. Teresa says it’s working. It’s not working. She says it anyway, out of love.
Back and forth
Vonn shook Gerald’s hand.
And Gerald sat down. Then stood up. That’s the most emotionally complex thing Gerald’s ever done.
You’re wearing the sun hat inside?
For calm. It’s not working. Teresa says it is. I’ve chosen to believe her about everything this year.
Nine and oh with a defense that’s allowed fifty-eight points in six games, The Ladd up on the board too spicy for Walt, and Gerald shaking hands with the linebacker he honored.
Split Decision is fiction. Mickey Bridges, Ken Hogmanes and The Lakefront Ledger are invented; the games and scores are not.