FCS Southeast, Ninety-Eight Again, and Ray Laughs for a Full Minute
Cleveland State98
FCS Southeast0
- Game
- 2031 Week 5
- Site
- Home
- Result
- Win
- Record
- 5-0
Vikings 98, FCS Southeast 0. Five and oh.
Yes, folks. FCS Southeast. Six years ago we played “FCS Northwest,” and Kenny made such a fuss about playing a region that his father laughed for a full minute. Now we’ve played the other corner of the map. We’re working our way around the compass. By 2035 we’ll be playing FCS Due South.
Ninety-eight points again. That’s twice this year. Our backups played the whole second half. Dave Shelley, last year’s Heisman winner, came in and played beautifully and didn’t complain once. That’s a team man. I want that on the record.
Three pierogi, because a pierogi is a promise and I can’t promise this game meant much. Big Stan agreed. He served everyone a half sandwich on Monday and called it “the FCS portion.”
At the Lakers’ game on Saturday morning, Sofia, eleven, kept her stat sheet for the Vikings game on the back of our team’s play sheet, so she’d be ready for the afternoon. During a timeout she looked up and said, “Coach Mickey, what’s FCS Southeast?” I said, “It’s a region, sweetheart.” She wrote that down. Then she asked, “Can a region tackle?” I said, “Apparently not.”
The Vikings beat a geographic area by ninety-eight points. I have no analysis. I have only geography.
I told my father on Sunday. In 2025, when I told him the Vikings had beaten “FCS Northwest,” he laughed for a full minute; it was one of the best phone calls I’ve ever had with him. This year, on a foggy day, he didn’t know the score, didn’t know the opponent, wasn’t sure what season it was. I said, “Dad, the Vikings beat FCS Southeast ninety-eight to nothing.” There was a silence. And then he laughed. A full minute. The same laugh. He said, “Southeast! Kenny, they ran out of names!” I said, “They did, Dad.” He laughed again.
He didn’t remember Northwest. It didn’t matter. The joke was the same joke. Some things stay where you put them.
I’ve added a cell to the Doom Model: “Opponent is a direction (Y/N).” It’s a binary. If yes, I’m told by the model, “win.”
Back and forth
Your dad laughed again!
A full minute. The same laugh. Six years apart.
Can a region tackle?
Sofia asked the best question of the season. The answer is no.
Ninety-eight to nothing over a compass point, a Heisman winner playing backup without a word, and a father’s laugh that came back exactly the same six years later.
Split Decision is fiction. Mickey Bridges, Ken Hogmanes and The Lakefront Ledger are invented; the games and scores are not.